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What's Blogging Me?!

This year has been a hard lesson in learning about how to ask for Help. We all need at one time or another but for some reason, whether it be pride, fear or inability we often don't seek the help we need. As stubborn as I am I often think I can do it all and it's easier to do everything than ask for help. Never mind the stress this attitude puts me under or the toll it takes on my mind, body, soul and relationships. After going through some life-altering events earlier in the year I found out what an incredible support system I have, family, friends and networks all in place ready, willing and able to help me with whatever I needed. I didn't have to do anything all alone, does everyone have this? How did I get so blessed? Because I know there are a lot of people who don't think they have a good support system, or that are sitting in a dark place right now and could use a little extra support I thought I could take all of this love, support and advice and use it to...
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Second Day, Second Chance...

After a rough night, I woke up with a renewed determination, quitting is easy but not an option. I learned from my previous oatmeal gloppery and day 2's oatmeal was MUCH more edible. I still have a lot to learn about preparing the meals correctly, but it was a much better day. This program has made me a clock watcher, is it 2 hours yet?! While eating 1 meal I am obsessed with what comes next and how long before I can get to that next meal. Medifast the OCD way!! Day 2 was a success.... Who'd a thunk it?
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1st Day Disaster

Even the best of intentions are only intentions... My first day of  Medifast® started off with a few bumps and went downhill FAST!! Learning how to prepare the food correctly was my first challenge. Everything comes dried out, and must be reconstituted with just the right amount of water, cooked for precisely the right time. Breakfast was a glop of oatmealesque goo, the 3rd meal was waterey baked ziti, by the time I got home from work, I was elated to eat my "lean-green" homemade meal... I still had 2 meals left for the day, I was on track to finish day 1 strong. HA!!! Day-1 Diversion Cliff notes version: Unexpected company turned into a night out at dinner, with appetizers, drinks and even dessert... While the company was awesome and a needed reunion, nothing I had intended for my 1st day came to fruition!! I went to bed feeling hopeless and defeated, and sure I was going to fail this whole mess!!! I day does not a failure make...
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The Daily Details...

After stepping on the scale yesterday, I went into FULL Meltdown mode!!! I am close to my all-time heaviest weight, a gain of 37 pounds in just over a year. THIS IS NOT OKAY!! What part of Best friend's Maid of Honor, Class Reunion and Son's Wedding does my fat-arse not comprehend?! Enough is ENOUGH!! On my way to work, tears filling my eyes, self-hatred filling my heart, I heard the local radio DJ talk about his Mom's 100lb+ weight loss and the joy it brought her. I had been hearing about her journey for over a year now, but today something clicked; I knew what I needed to do... During my lunch break, I drove myself to the nearest  Medifast®  office and signed up, did my weigh-in, measurements, meal plan and left with a glimmer of hope. This morning I got everything ready and started my weight-loss plan, following it to a "T" no exceptions.... I'm going to be brutally honest, the food sucks, but I don't care, I'm going to suck it up and do wha...
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My Journey Begins With a HUGE Step

Here I go again... I never thought I would be back in this place, this dark, painful, bleak, lonely place, but I am. I am back to an unhealthy, unattractive (to me, no one else's opinion matters), ghastly weight gain. This high weight has brought me to an all time low. What's different this time? My life is filled with one blessing after another, great family, great career, positive changes all around. Why then do I sabotage myself and eat myself into oblivion? I don't know if there is an answer that I will ever find in my lifetime. But after much prayer, tears, self loathing and struggle... I am determined to rise above and regain my power over my weight. With or without support from my family, it's my journey and I can't rely on anyone but myself to make this change. I did this to myself now I've got to be the one to fix it. So my journey begins...
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